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05.04.29 by ~Synalle:iconSynalle:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Experimental > Typographical




If I told you
    I don’t

                          you—anymore — Maybe
              I never did
I wonder if you would survey
me with those
                             saddest
                             sweetest
                              yet have I been unpromising:
                             your eyes.
                              once offered had I but

                              with
                               time
                                withdrew
                             it, as if un-
               never-
                             spoken.
©2005-2009 ~Synalle
:iconsynalle:

Author's Comments

"it doesn't have one yet"
Some of you have seen this before. Don't want to kill the other one, but I was asked to move it, so here it is.

EDIT
I think I'm going to have a heart attack. *stares*
Um, yeah... while I still have some semblance of sense--that's the date of composition: 2005 April 29.
Thanks ever so much, DC & ndifference! *keels over*
(and everyone else +fav-ing and leaving such nice comments!)

Another Edit
In light of the confusion/lack of comprehension a lot of people seem to be experiencing, I can only point you towards my explanation on the first page towards the bottom. Please keep in mind that this is not a fixed definition of the poem, only the intent I had in mind as I wrote it. If you prefer more structured poetry, I've written all types, and this was but an experiment in spacing-dependent free verse. And yes, the spacing is significant and has meaning, or was intended to; it's not just there to disguise the fact that I'm not saying anything.

Daily Deviation

Given 2005-05-25

05.04.29 by ~Synalle

From the first time reading to the twenty-first, it strikes me with every review; the depth of emotion, the symbolism, the careful wording, the stark honesty of expression that makes art. (Suggested by ~DeirdraChaeli and Featured by `ndifference)

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:icondeirdrachaeli:
~DeirdraChaeli May 24, 2005, 1:03:58 PM
This is still bloody brilliant.

Please don't eat me.
:iconarianperegrine:
~ArianPeregrine May 24, 2005, 6:55:49 PM
I agree with Deirdra, my dear e.e. cummings... *grin* I heart this work and I heart it muchly and... yeah...

Noli occidere me! (see, I can use proper number... I swear...)

--
Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

In order to be great, you must overcome yourself.
:iconcorny-sloth:
~corny-sloth May 25, 2005, 1:35:33 AM
This is amazing, I love the simplicity of it :)
:iconshadowsouled:
~shadowsouled May 25, 2005, 1:54:31 AM
I'd love it .... without the numbers. What does it signify? Sorry, learner here.

--
Every single day is another night gone
:iconangel-a-:
~angel-a- May 25, 2005, 1:54:35 AM
wow, you have really inspired me.

this is very extraordinary, its different, the emotions are just "wow"
i dont believe that something so simple could be more powerful than a drama novel.
i love it! i would give it a 100 out of 10.
:+fav:
and congrats on the DD :)
:iconzebrazebrazebra:
~zebrazebrazebra May 25, 2005, 2:23:32 AM
If you're talking about the title, I'd assume it's a date.
:iconinziladun:
!inziladun May 25, 2005, 3:11:16 AM
1929? :O_o:
More like a digital clock I think.

--
but, mainly, Stay Classy
:iconairetose:
~airetosE May 25, 2005, 3:11:41 AM
Duuuuude. Not many literal works of art make it in the DD's, and YOU MADE IT. Totally well done man. I am inspired. Inspired is what I am.

*goes off to write some poetry ... he hopes*
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May 24, 2005
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